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Tiger Woods has even more to worry about than losing his family and sponsors. He’s also in danger of losing the unshakable confidence that was his trademark.
Why? Because confidence is not a quality. Confidence is not a character trait. Confidence is an emotion.
Know that you know that confidence is an emotion, it will be easier for you to manage your tennis psychology.
If you want to keep your tennis mental game strong, you need to be able to FEEL. You can’t be depressed, shut down, or numb – for any reason.
But this is exactly what happens when we have trauma, whether it’s from losing, underperforming, or personal troubles.
When we are traumatized, our instinctive response is to shut down…and that’s when our tennis psychology suffers the most.
That’s why Steffi Graf lost her confidence when her Dad fathered a child in an extra-marital affair.
‘All I wanted to do was to get away from everything and everyone, including tennis,’ she said.
At the French Open final, Monica Seles defeated Steffi 7-6, 6-4. Steffi said: ‘I did not just lose against Monica Seles, I was defeated by an opponent who was not even on the court.’*
When Steffi suppressed her shame, she suppressed her confidence too.
Is a recent trauma weighing down YOUR confidence? If so, you can get it back.
The path is pretty simple.
Simply let yourself have your painful feelings.
The shame and the sorrow. The disappointment and the fear.
Sometimes the crying IS the healing. Even a five year old knows that you can heal any trauma with a little emotional courage. BUT: do not feel sorry for yourself. Do not have a pity party and tell yourself you should never suffer. We all suffer sometimes.
Of course, letting yourself feel is not the whole story.
You still need to listen to your fear.
If you are Tiger and you have done something stupid, you need to make amends – big time.
If you are Steffi, you need to ask Dad to build up the trust again.
Most athletes don’t enough self-acceptance. They get bogged down by their fears…and their egos. They refuse to acknowledge their disappointment and their shame.
The Courage to Win in Sport: Perform Your Best Under Pressure teaches you how to build breakthrough confidence no matter what.
You can be reading it in literally MINUTES. It will teach you the exact mindset you need to perform flawlessly under pressure.
You will learn how to work with yourself, not against yourself. Check it out here.
Light it up out there,
Lisa B.