Hi Lisa,
I don’t know if you can help me, but here goes, what should i do if i really want to practice and i am scared to practice with my dad because he yells and makes me feel bad?
–Annette*
Thanks for writing in Annette. You don’t say what sport you’re playing or how old you are, but I’m guessing you’re a teenager.
First, my heart goes out to you.
Getting yelled at is rough, no matter who is yelling.
When it’s Dad, it’s all the more challenging.
Here’s my best advice.
You need to make a request of your Dad that he actually HEARS.
In private, say something like, “Dad, I know you are trying to help me…but you are making me worse by yelling. If you want me to do something different in practice, ASK me to do it – please don’t yell at me.”
If he promises not to do it but does it again, the second he starts to yell, turn to him and say, “Don’t yell at me, Dad. Just ask me for what you want.”
Say it every time he yells in a way that demotivates you (sometimes yelling can motivate you because it’s actually appropriate – you’ll know the difference though).
If he doesn’t stop yelling, then walk out of practice.
He won’t yell again.
Sometimes Dads don’t realize how they are coming across and need you to take charge of the situation.
Remember, you’re not a robot.
You’re a human being and your environment affects you when you’re practising and competing.
If there is someone in your environment who is throwing you off, you need to do something about it.
That usually means communicating assertively.
Notice I didn’t say aggressively.
Simply ask your Dad, coach, teammate, or friend for what motivates you.
Assume this person is clueless about what you need.
You’ll be relieved and he’ll be informed.
Mental toughness is not just about managing yourself.
Sometimes you have to step up and manage the people around you.
This is the art of being a leader, and it’s part of the courage to win.
Think of how good you could be if you truly internalized all the elements of mental toughness.
It’s why I created my Ebook, The Courage to Win in Sport. In it you learn the secret mental toughness mindset hoarded by superstar athletes. You can even download it for FREE with our seven day trial. Check it out here:
https://www.thecouragetowin.com/sportebook.html
And make sure you sign up for free mental toughness tips too. They will change the way you approach sport forever.
Let’s start 2011 off with a bang.
Your friend,
Lisa B.
The Courage to Win